Baby a la Endangered Species:

Ingredients
1 5 lb. baby (keep comfortable until use)
1 California condor, plucked and diced
3 200 lbs. manatees

Boil fifty gallons of water. Once at a boil, drop in whole baby and diced condor. Leave in pot until screaming stops and flesh melts. Decapitate manatees and hang heads on wall to show disregard for nature. Dispose of bodies as needed.

Once flesh adequately melted, pour entire contents of pot into blender with parsley, basil, and red pepper seed to taste. Serve over linguine or angel hair.

Enjoy.

- Recipe submitted by Anonymous