Baby Crab Cakes:

first you need to get five crabs fresh from the ocean. they have to be bigger than the average crab. then you need to find five retarded babies. when you have the crabs and the babies together, mix them together in a big pot. the babies cannot be too retarded because they need to be able to fight the crabs in the pot. the babies will take bites out of the crabs and the crabs will take bites out of the babies. once they have both had their fill you will have crab stuffed babies and baby stuffed crabs. hopefully a few of the babies are still alive, so when you put them in the oven, they squeal with delight as they pop and crisp. once you can no longer tell the difference between the babies and the crabs they should be done. if the babies heads did not pop in the oven you can crack open their skull and use the brain juice as a tasty sauce for the cakes.

- Recipe submitted by Dennis Harvey