Gerbil Stuffed Baby:

Procure a baby from a neighbor or friend by volunteering to *look after* it.

Singe the hair from its body and eviscerate through the bunghole so as not to put any tears in the body cavity.
It would be okay at this point to rub the warm entrails over your genital area whilst dancing around the kitchen singing 'Break On Through' at the top of your lungs.

After you've finished playing with your food, borrow the neighbor's gerbils (you will need about 3 if baby is small). Chase them around the kitchen with a large dull serrated bread knife.

When you have them cornered, quaking and puling, make them beg for mercy till you get bored, then hack them into bite-sized chunks.note: It's a good idea to make this recipe at someone else’s house to keep cleanup to a minimum.

Now sit back and slug a few shots of Cuervo, admiring your handiwork. Scraping up the pulpy bloody gerbil-bits, lift the baby by the legs and spread them wide. At this point you may need a helper unless you thoughtfully left a canning funnel nearby.

Shove the slippery gerbil pieces into the baby rectum as far as you can and if the baby is reasonably fresh, the sphincter muscle will contract to keep the stuffing inside.

Lay out on large platter. Have 8 more shots of Cuervo in quick succession and when your gorge rises, aim for the baby and spew in an orderly fashion until evenly coated.

Serve before the vomit cools.
Add a nice green salad, a bottle of Chablis and a loaf of thick crusty bread to mop up those juices.

- Recipe submitted by Morticia