Goo Goo Gai Pan:

Call your favorite Chinese restaurant and ask if they have a corking fee.
Chances are that if they let you bring in your own wine, the would be less likely to raise objections over other outside ingestibles. Once you have found the right restaurant, swing by your local movie theater and keep your ears peeled. When you hear the intolerable squeals of a fresh baby, you've found your main ingredient. Approach the baby discreetly, and "accidentally" put a plastic bag over its head until it stops wiggling.
When the baby is dead, the parents probably wont want it anymore and wont mind if you take it off their hands. Once you have the delicious baby, you need to head to the restaurant that you chose as quickly as possible (to maintain freshness) and order some Moo Goo Gai Pan. Discreetly request that the waiter allow you to provide the "Chicken" yourself, and hand him the sweet little tater toddler you appropriated earlier. If he raises any objections, tell him that it is a tofurky, and he will leave you alone.
Wait for the kitchen to cook that tasty cherub to perfection, and enjoy!
*Note: You could also add baby to your own Moo Goo Gai Pan recipe, but face
it: your Moo Goo Gai Pan wouldn't be nearly as good. Why waste a perfectly good baby on a dish that you aren't sure of?
**Another Note: This recipes works best with Chinese babies, but most any Asian baby will do. Any other baby would still be fine, because we all know that nothing pleases the palate quite like a wee juicy baby.

- Recipe submitted by Ivy M.