"Neapolitan" style thrice stuffed baby with sautéed colon polyps:

Ingredients:

1 warm 8-10 lb baby (live or partially birthed, but aborted)
16 oz infant colon polyps (may be hard to find, try any children's cancer hospital dumpster)
1/2 lb butter
Salt
Pepper
1 lb baby carrots
1 large sweet onion
1 bunch of celery
3 bay leafs
1 baby apple
1 can vegetable spray
1 Caucasian man (Vanilla)
1 Gay man (Strawberry)
1 African American man (Chocolate)

Grease a 12"x 24" shallow cookie sheet. Place seasoned baby face down with
apple in it's mouth on cookie sheet on kitchen table with head towards the
center of the table. Have the Caucasian man (whitey always goes first) step
up to the table and spank the baby's butt until it is pink. Then have the
Caucasian man place the palms of his hands on each cheek of the now tender
baby butt and insert both thumbs into the baby's ass and pull the ass hole
far enough apart to ease stuffing. (you will hear the baby's hip break)
While the Caucasian man is holding the baby's ass open, have the Gay man (he
will probably volunteer) spray the Caucasian man's penis with the vegetable
spray and work in until erect. Have the Caucasian thrust his penis into the
baby until he ejaculates his own special seasoning into the babies ass. Have
the Gay man repeat the same steps. Then have the African American man wash
your car, mow your lawn, clean your house, chop the onion, celery, and
carrots. When you are satisfied with his work, let him do the baby too. Then
have the African American stuff the onions, celery, bay leaf, and carrots
into the seamen filled cavity of the baby while you, whitey, and the Gay man
have a beer. Bake the thrice stuffed baby at 425 degrees for 1 hour. While
the baby is baking, sauté the colon polyps in the butter. After 1 hour, take
the baby out, cut into quarters, and ladle the sautéed colon polyps over the
quartered baby, salt and pepper to taste and serve. After eating, have the
African American clean up.

- Recipe submitted by Jennifer Diamico